This really should be subtitled "How To Build a Dating Site Part IV."

I will treat dating sites with respect when they do the same for their members. I try hard to say nice things about the industry, but it's difficult, and I am generally a positive person.

Dating sites think singles are sheep with credit cards tattooed on their foreheads. I look forward to the day when dating and social networking sites begin to respect their members and cater to their deeper, more evolved needs.

I have belonged to 50+ dating sites and have read over 3,000 profiles for research projects. Right now I don't belong to any dating sites, a protest against the current state of the online dating experience which gets me thinking about other things for a while.

Why is it that the sites that make the most money selling banner ads and buying inventory on social networking sites are the sites most likely not to give a crap about their members?

I'm constantly blown away by all the money dating sites are leaving on the table. Millions of people waiting at your doorstep, yet the door remains closed.

Mainstream dating sites make all the money, while more and more people are meeting on local or niche sites. The problem is, I want to belong to both, without paying multiple times.

I will pay a hell of a lot more than $20 to meet my future wife. The problem is, there is not one single site or service in the US that I would, or could, give my money to that caters to my demographic and that I have a reasonably high level of confidence in. Totally depressing. Where is the $500 hands-on service?

Where is my 7-day pass to a network of dating sites? I want to check out Yahoo, several Spark Networks properties and a few others, free and paid. Let me create a single profile that works across all of them.

Event-based dating sites are taking off, this is good to see. I made three event dates this week, that's huge compared to the usual hunt and pick on most dating sites.

Mspace is hurting the online dating industry, for now, but only a portion of it, young 20-somethings that will never make it to paying dating sites because the value proposition is so off for them. Nobody can be cool on a dating site. Who the heck wants to be a voyeur, paid or otherwise, on a dating site when we have Girls Gone Wild on Myspace?

Blogging gets boring from time to time, it's difficult to stay charged up all the time about the next new dating site. Look at Onlinepersonalswatch, Mark works in the diet industry now, scans news feeds and writes about YouTube. It's hard to stay focused when most industry news is a snooze. Social networking stole online dating's thunder, from a media and revenue standpoint. Go ahead, start another blog about social networking. When do you have time to get any work done?

PlentyOfFish is a great media story, although I often wonder how long Markus will rule the free dating world. I'm dying to check his server logs, same goes for Mate1.

Dating sites need to grow a pair and put programs into place to get rid of stale profiles. Six months is stale. Match, Yahoo and everyone else on down the line have been misleading consumers for years. Clean up your act and your database. Less profiles will lead to more money. Embrace the dynamic nature of the real-time web. A dating site database is not a card catalog, it should be a guided, rich multimedia experience, with a profile stream that flows like water. If you don't understand the concept, it's time to get smart. Email me learn more.

Europe is learning the lessons the US dating market learned 3 years ago. This was to be expected. Why then, as I thumb through the Amsterdam iDate conference proceedings, is everything about mobile dating? Haven't we been through this before? Sure, EU singles use their phone more, but why are 1/3 of all presentations about mobile dating? How big is the leading social network in Estonia and why was the CEO speaking? Why is it important to convert males to customers? Aren't females the minority?

Profile helpers are coming out of the woodwork. They all work off the same script, zzzzz, and they certainly don't scale well.

People don't join a dating site because of an expert. I would like to see how much more money sites make when they hire said "experts."

Where is the next generation of personality testing? How come I can't collaborate and take a test *with* someone?

The technical minutia of personality testing is lost on 100% of online daters, who tend to judge effectiveness on results, not weighted averages. How does one testing service differentiate from another when the mechanics and algorithm are not taken into consideration?

User-created video posted to free sites like YouTube will be huge. Major sites need to add video back into the mix. What they didn't do last time was provide privacy and progressive communication controls. Everyone emails the blonde with the big boobs, so give her the tools to protect and manage her suitors. Where are the scripts, the helper-apps to make creating a profile and video easier? Why do I have to pay someone to help me with that? There is a strong argument it should be part of the service offering from dating sites. Yup, there goes some of your margin, but the upside will be huge. Background checks I'm not so sure about adding into the monthly price, seems like an added-cost for the time being.

Speaking of background checks, how many women need to bilked out of their money or assaulted before dating sites start offering their services? I just heard from a women who was bilked out of six figures by a scammer on Match. And she wants to sue. I have a hard time sympathizing with people who get scammed. Being lonely certainly lowers the defenses.

Dating site executives often do not belong to multiple sites. That's crazy! That's as bad as singles not checking out the same-sex competition to see how they stack up.

What ever happened to live events? IRL went kaput pretty fast and Match Events fizzled for a reason. Time to try again.

Anonymous calling, Background checks, voice/chat providers, time to get in bed together, on your own you're not going anywhere fast. Userplane not included, they are the gold standard for integration and advertising models, although I don't feel comfortable with chat interface, but 125,000 websites do, what do I know.

If you work in the dating industry, go brainstorm something useful and cool for your site, create a new ad campaign, market to a new niche or tweak your search algorithm or find a new way to entice people to sign up for your site. Do something extraordinary that differentiates you from the competition.

If you're single, go outside and do something outside your comfort zone. Talk to a stranger that catches your eye, strike up a conversation with new people, they are often more likely to connect you with someone than your friends.